A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday
It would be funny if this joke had a punchline
Wooden tit
(Source: facebook.com, via madame-thenardiers-diary)
(Source: sweetxinsanity, via bovineunited)
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.
(via bovineunited)
People who don’t watch Doctor Who must think that a character who has the name River Song must be a really serene, deep hippie or something. When really she’s a saucy aged woman who makes sex jokes.
(via ilovett)
sloths are cute but their skeletons are fucking creepy i mean
looks like something a nightmare pooped out
(via midscream)
When you were younger and a friend came round
The awkward first half hour of politeness:
The next couple of hours:
When their parents came to collect them:
“HIDE! HIDE! THEY CAN’T TAKE YOU IF THEY CAN’T FIND YOU! IN MY ROOM! THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOU THERE! HIDE NIGGA HIDE! THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!”
YES!!
(via easybakemeth)
Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”*Crying with laughter*
ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
Lilly Approved
(via easybakemeth)
Okay, so we all know that River Song’s real name is Melody Pond. And, that the only reason why she went on to call herself River Song is because in Let’s Kill Hitler the Doctor reveals that that is what he calls her.
The Doctor says the name you choose is like a promise.
And I think that day because of whatever he whispered in her ear as he was dying, she chose that name and made her promise.
The promise to be his River Song.
HOW ABOUT NO
